When considering surrogacy—whether you’re exploring an independent match or working with an agency like Western Surrogacy—it’s essential to be mindful of potential red flags in intended parents. Establishing healthy, respectful, and professional relationships is crucial to a successful journey. At Western Surrogacy, we’ve seen firsthand how certain behaviors and attitudes can derail what should be a hopeful and empowering experience. Through our years of experience, we’ve identified common warning signs that can signal future complications. If any of the following red flags are present, we may choose not to move forward with a match in order to protect the well-being of our surrogates and preserve the integrity of the process.
1. Undervaluing the Surrogacy Journey
Surrogacy is a complex and deeply personal commitment that comes with both emotional and financial responsibilities. While it’s completely understandable for intended parents to be budget-conscious, there’s a significant difference between financial awareness and undervaluing the process. Those who aggressively push for discounts or seek to cut corners may not fully grasp the importance of fair compensation or the true scope of what the journey entails.
Insisting on reduced rates can reflect a lack of appreciation for the surrogate’s time, sacrifice, and emotional investment. It can also suggest that the intended parents may try to negotiate other aspects of the process that should remain non-negotiable, such as medical care, legal protections, or psychological support. At Western Surrogacy, we emphasize that all parties deserve to be respected and compensated fairly. Surrogates are not just participants in a process—they are generous, dedicated individuals giving a profound gift.
2. Lack of Basic Respect
From the first conversation, how intended parents communicate speaks volumes about the type of relationship they will foster. A dismissive tone, condescending remarks, or overtly rude behavior in early interactions is a major red flag. Surrogacy is a collaborative experience built on mutual trust and respect. If those foundational qualities aren’t present from the start, it can lead to ongoing friction and emotional strain.
We’ve found that when a prospective parent fails to treat agency staff or surrogates with kindness and consideration, that behavior often continues throughout the journey. At Western Surrogacy, we believe in protecting our team and our surrogates from toxic or disrespectful dynamics. Every surrogate deserves to feel valued and supported—not just during pregnancy, but from the very first conversation.
3. Micromanagement and Overstepping Boundaries
While it’s natural for intended parents to be involved and attentive throughout the process, it’s equally important for them to respect boundaries. Some intended parents fall into the trap of micromanaging every detail, attempting to control aspects of the surrogate’s personal life, or questioning the agency’s procedures. This can create a stressful environment that affects the surrogate’s well-being.
Surrogates are not employees—they are partners in a profound and intimate journey. When their autonomy or personal space is infringed upon, it can lead to discomfort or even emotional harm. At Western Surrogacy, we ensure that all parties clearly understand their roles and boundaries, promoting a relationship based on collaboration, not control.
4. Disregard for Expert Advice
Surrogacy professionals—whether agency coordinators, legal advisors, or medical experts—bring essential knowledge and experience to the table. Read more about how expert guidance shapes successful surrogacy journeys.Intended parents who consistently dismiss or challenge expert recommendations without cause may be difficult to work with. While questions and concerns are welcome and expected, a pattern of pushback or distrust can indicate an unwillingness to cooperate or accept guidance.
This type of behavior not only slows down the process but can jeopardize important decisions that affect everyone involved. A successful surrogacy journey depends on teamwork, and that means trusting the professionals guiding the way.
5. Impatience and Unrealistic Demands
The surrogacy journey is rarely quick or easy—it involves thorough screenings, legal steps, medical procedures, and emotional ups and downs. Intended parents who expect instant results or become overly demanding often create unnecessary pressure for both the surrogate and the agency team. This impatience can strain the relationship and undermine the positive environment we strive to create.
Successful intended parents are those who understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint. They respect the time and care that surrogacy requires and are prepared to weather the journey with grace and understanding.
Creating the Right Match
At Western Surrogacy, our top priority is cultivating respectful, ethical, and emotionally healthy surrogacy experiences. We screen intended parents carefully to ensure they’re emotionally prepared, financially stable, and respectful of all parties involved. Recognizing red flags early in the process helps us maintain the supportive environment that surrogates need to thrive.
Every surrogate deserves a journey that feels safe, fulfilling, and free from undue stress. By identifying and avoiding problematic partnerships from the outset, we set everyone up for success. A surrogacy journey is a shared path—and we believe it should be walked together with compassion, communication, and care.
